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[14 Dec 2009|10:17pm] |
I have not been in touch very much this semester.
I have had some good times, and of course some bad times. It has been rough. But such is life, and that is not why I am updating.
I am just venting a few of the feelings that are going through my mind here.
Adam and I were back together for a few months. Things were great. We were happy. We cared for each other. Then stress got to me, and I began to crack. When I lose, I lose it big time. I know it is a lot to handle, but he was there for me. He was everything I needed, and I was so thankful to have him (even if I didn't mention it as often as I should have).
However, we just decided to go on a break. Actually, he decided to go on a break. I decided to end it for good. My word wins, in this case.
I understand that my psychological issues are a lot to put up with. I really do, seeing as I am the first person to deal with them on a daily basis. I also understand that I asked a lot of him.
But here's the thing- I realize I need someone to help me through this. I cannot do it alone. And that means I need a serious, committed relationship.
I have learned that Adam is not ready for that. He may be 22, out of college, and ready to start his life, but apparently a committed relationship is just too much for him.
I do understand. I am disappointed, of course, because I thought he would step up and be who I thought he could be for me.
I am not just going to be "magically" better. No, Adam, I do not want to date again when I am "okay." If you will not be here for me when I am at my worst, you sure as hell cannot have me at my best. I am not looking for casual, random, dating.
I need constant, committed, meaningful emotional support. I know I won't find it in a college guy, I know I will not find it anytime soon.
I know how much stress it is to ask a person to be there for me. I just really thought he was the mature person he says he is, ready and willing to step into something new.
I am not angry. I am not sad. I am not brokenhearted, distraught, or crestfallen.
I am just disappointed.
So don't leave me any of those "YOU'LL BE OKAY WE LOVE YOU" comments. I know I will be okay. It will take a lot of work and a lot of effort. I know I don't stay in touch, so you do not have to tell me that I can call anytime if I am feeling down. It is fine. I will find a way to reach a stable path in life, be it by myself or with the help of one or more people.
I do appreciate, however, the fact that you will all read this. And it does mean a lot.
Thanks ladies :)
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[25 Nov 2009|12:18pm] |
Megan Sutherland
Campus Box 2401
Dear Megan:
I have received a report that on November 19, 2009, you hosted a gathering in Mortensen Hall that violated the maximum occupancy policy and alcohol policies. You refused to take a PBT.
You are underage, Megan. Students are obligated to obey all laws relating to the purchasing, providing, possession, and use of alcoholic beverages. Minnesota State Law provides that it is illegal for a person under the age of 21 to consume alcohol, attempt to purchase alcohol, or possess alcohol.
The first step is a hearing to review the case of any student accused of violating the standards of conduct, and to give that student an opportunity to discuss his or her behavior (Augsburg College Student Guide, http://www.augsburg.edu/studentguide/#disciplinary).
Please be advised that a $50 fine may be assessed for the first incident involving an alcohol policy violation. If it is determined you are responsible for a violation, the fine will be assessed to your student account and appear on your statement as a conduct code violation. There may be other sanctions assigned at the time of your hearing.
Please schedule a time to meet with me as soon as possible. To schedule, contact Laurel Christianson at 612-330-1160. You need to schedule this meeting by December 4, 2009. If you do not call by December 4th and schedule a meeting with me, I will determine the appropriate action on behalf of the College without your input.
Sincerely,
Amanda Temple
Residence Hall Director, Mortensen
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[12 Nov 2009|04:07pm] |
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it's time for some changes. lots and lots of changes, actually.
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[16 Oct 2009|07:45pm] |
hey kids.
i'm happy.
you know why?
(btw, it is a DL situation)
this is why.
my little Sneak. isn't she adorable?
and no, we are not allowed to have pets in the dorm.. woops.
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[07 Oct 2009|03:56pm] |
...is it bad that i want to do my calc prof?
just asking..
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[14 Sep 2009|03:48pm] |
MY PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND WERE:
friday night, chill, whatever.
saturday, whatever.
saturday night, hang out at club a-list and creep on freshmen, then go to the first official huge party at joe's/jeremy's/etcs house.
sunday, homework and sleep
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:
friday night: went to justin's house. social drinking. smoked more hookah than drank. started getting congested/really sniffly.
saturday morning-afternoon: woke up, took a shower, realized felt like i had a fever. checked it, 99.2. not bad. so i bought some nyquil from the bookstore, ate a granola bar, called my mom, and went to sleep.
6pm: woke up. checked temp, 100.2, not good but not bad. called my mom to update her. tried to eat but couldn't, watched tv/ relaxed.
10:45pm: checked temp again because i was feeling awful. 100.7. not good. i got up to brush my teeth (just felt like it) could barely walk to the bathroom 10 feet away and couldn't stand to brush my teeth. called my mom, she told me to go to the ER in case it was h1n1.
then, i asked amanda to bring me to the ER. we waited for amelia, she got out of working to help me. amanda went to DPS (campus security) to ask for a ride and tell them i was too weak to walk. three burly DPS guys came up to interrogate me (in case of h1n1). they half carried me to the car.
i had to ride in a wheelchair at the hospital.
my friends had to take off my clothes and put me in the hospital gown. (we were giggling the entire time, and i kept saying "cover my butt! i'm wearing a thong! i don't want you guys to see my ass!")
my blood pressure was at 109/74 (not good) and my temp shot up to 101.4 (noooot good).
i had to wait about an hour and a half for the doctor to half deliver a baby. (mother came in with baby half out)
got an IV and antibiotics, tylenol, and nausea meds.
nearly passed out and had to use the wheelchair again to make it to the car on the way out. ate a granola bar and was not as lightheaded.
had to confirm with hall director that it was not h1n1.
i have sinusitis, an upper respiratory infection, and a misdiagnosed UTI (since i have my period i think i would have noticed having a UTI)
so now i am on two prescriptions.
professors are really good about letting you skip class and sleep once you mention ER trip.
mmkay.
well, i'm alive, mostly.
~
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| this is for anne? yeahhhh :) |
[09 Sep 2009|06:56pm] |
so life.
today was my first day of classes. i love math, so i automatically have two good classes.
religion is going to be boring, but such is life.
and accounting? well, the prof already seems to think he needs to cater the class to me. since i'm the only math major and "math majors really seem to enjoy the class"
i wore one of my ridiculously secretary-like outfits today and thought of all of you (mostly kara). i turned lots of heads, which is hilarious.
uhh what else.
oh amanda wants me to go with her to the block party. will do.
so maybe i'll finish this later.
~
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[30 Aug 2009|09:20pm] |
i fucking love my life. just wanted to let you all know.
i hope this means the year is going be awesome.
i wish you all the same happiness :)
just a song i'm currently loving.
:D
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[29 Aug 2009|08:02pm] |
since you guys love me:
i may or may not have slept in amelia's boyfriend's housemates bed last night. he may or may not have come back from another party at 5 am. he may or may not have given me his super warm sweatpants to change into because i was freezing. we may or may not have cuddled to stay warm. also, we may or may not have made out.
(yes, i have met him before and do know what his name is)
btw, shawn and i aren't going anywhere. too awkward. but i am sure you guys figured that out from my potentially false story.
loves:
COLLEGE. (even if it hasn't started yet)
that amelia and i are two of a kind
steak with bacon wrapped around it
pineapple fried rice (with shrimp!)
when the above comes in a "hand-carved" pineapple bowl.
my dorm
hates:
...
well, uh..
hmm.
oh, that's it isn't sept. 3rd yet aka that i haven't moved in yet.
entertainingly yours,
~
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| there's a lake, and at the bottom you'll find all our friends |
[22 Aug 2009|09:50pm] |
likes:
being back in MN
g-rents house
chocolate chocolate chip muffins for breakfast
my dorm situation
the TV
n64 and gamecube
our bed set up
9.5
magic
i forgot i hid hp7 in my suitcase and now i am thrilled about knowing it's there
hates:
food poisoning
not having my own car
not being able to move in til the 3rd
:D
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[09 Aug 2009|08:18pm] |
- tomorrow will be my 6th straight day of working, my 5th double. needless to say, i am super fucking exhausted.
-today was super annoying because of ECOLI/TOWN OF MILFORD.
- i have had an unhappy digestive system for a few days and now i know why.
- i need a massage, bad
- only 12 days til MN :)
- i need to think about packing
-and/or shipping boxes
- tomorrow is going to be around 90 and i get to work in AC so im happy
- gahhh 12 days! i'm so excited.
okay, good enough.
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| you can breathe, you can breathe now |
[21 Jul 2009|12:25pm] |
i've decided to do a love-hate list.
LOVES:
scorpions on a plane!
pandora
new shoes
the truth, even if you don't want to hear it
HP6
HP7
realizing the HBP movie would be HILARIOUS if i had never read the series
the rain
the beach
my father is on vacation so i can bother him all the time
HATES:
sneezing
the rain
not having an occasion to wear my new shoes
my knee cap
infidelity
that Sarah is in Europe and didn't bring all of us
when nail polish chips too soon
this random pain behind my left eyebrow
not being able to conquer my procrastination skills
i think that's good for now.
~
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[18 Jul 2009|11:22pm] |
drugs = good
although, i feel like an old lady taking four different pills a day. that's life, i guess.
today, three girls left me 5 dollars on 33.01. some guy saw them leave suspiciously and took down their license plate number. so hopefully the police find them, that would make my life. heh. stupid bitches and ordering water with fucking lemon.
today i also met this nice old couple with whom i sat down and talked to for a good half hour. it was fantastic. here is their cute story, if you wish to hear it: both were married, living in texas. met, became friends. he moved elsewhere for twenty years. he came back shortly after his wife died in nov. 1999. he calls her to catch up, finds out that her husband died in feb. 2000. they have been married since 2002. (awww!) they are in MA for a bit because that's where she grew up and her relatives still live here.
i like good/cute stories.
i decided i no longer hate the beach.
half blood prince was awful in reference to the book, but fucking hilarious.
i am trying to get my mom to give me this ring she never wears. i am wearing it all the time in hopes that she forgets about it. hehe. we'll see what happens.
cate, i gave you the two best pairs of shoes. trust me, i would have offered you more if i thought you wanted them.
becca, i waited on your parents, as you know. i love how they wanted to know what i thought about ward.
that's all, i think.
~
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[11 Jul 2009|10:46am] |
hello.
so as most everyone knows, i blew out my knee last thursday and have no been able to use it properly since. i am going to the doctor on monday and we shall see what that brings.
i went to the mall yesterday (for like an hour, thanks knee..) and dropped a ben because i was feeling bad for myself hhaha. plus, i got about 190 dollars worth of stuff for 104. i was happy. now i have some sweet new jeans that ACTUALLY FIT ME! the only thing is, express is definitely wrong with the sizing. i tried on Stella (uh, i guess a regular jean?) in a 2 and it was massive. but the 0 was a bit too tight, i could do it, but wouldn't be happy. so thankfully i got a 2 in Zelda (which is a slim fit) and they are perfect! and a 0 in Eva (which is a curvy fit. it's a bit baggy but soo comfy)
point of this? GO TO EXPRESS IF YOU WANT JEANS A SIZE SMALLER THAN NORMAL. if you're feeling down, just go try a pair on. i promise you'll feel better lol
bethany, i PROMISE i will drop the book by your house today. if i don't, well, .. i promise i will so there!
the house phone is ringing. we never answer that damn thing. it's kind of ridiculous.
we have a fire pit now. let me know what night to have everyone over!
my brother and i have a theory. about my father. and it's that he secretly smokes cigars and drinks instead of coming home right away from work. we also think he is potentially cheating on our mother, but these are just theories and thus are made up. i mean, how ELSE could he have put up with her for 28 years? sheesh.
depressing thought: months go by too fast when you're on birth control. i could swear i just had my period, but lo and behold it's next week again!
i leave here in 41 days.
umm, SO EXCITED ABOUT HARRY POTTER EVEN IF I CAN'T SEE IT AT MIDNIGHT.
peace out.
~
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[17 Jun 2009|10:11pm] |
best quote ever. and probably one of my best days at work haha.
i was talking to Nadine (manager) about selling Sam Adams products (we are having a contest) and about how people should know that beer is sexy.
she says:
"Megan, I think beer is sexy because I am German." she continued with "and you are a beer lover so you agree."
but the first part is what made my night. hahha.
i ate mcdonalds yesterday and today. someone help me.
kara, remind me to pay you tomorrow. or something.
somebody remind me to give my daddy the card i got him for father's day. it's superb.
sorry about updating all of a sudden. haha :P
~
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[16 Jun 2009|02:46pm] |
can i just say i adore lady gaga?
my song of the moment is "eh, eh nothing else i can say"
all i do is work, and starve to death it seems. i am always hungry. i'm hungry now and i just ate french onion soup (!!!!) at applebee's. fuck being hungry..
remind me to NEVER go to a high school graduation party. thanks.
i need to get gas. and pay kara.
AHHH I CAN'T WAIT TIL FRIDAY!!! :) :D
i think i am going to shoot my dog, by the way. just letting you all know.
that's all, i believe.
OH i officially have a larger ass than my mother. so she can no longer complain about having a fat ass, because she doesn't hehehhe. I WIN.
peace out.
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[22 May 2009|08:17am] |
hey everyone.
summer vacation is fabulous.
i have been working nearly every day. i'm working a double today, so if you want to go out for lunch, come see me! or if you want carside tonight, call me! haha. (yes, i serve now toooo)
yeah that's about all i have been doing, work work work. i don't mind though, it means lots of cash.
i bought adam's tv off of him for 350, so now i have a samsung 32" lcd tv. wooo. and only half the price he paid for it, i'm happy. it will look sweet in our living room in a couple of months. i'm sure my housemates will be happy.
uh, yeah.. that's about it.
i think.
laters.
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[28 Apr 2009|10:23pm] |
hey kids. it's been awhile.
i am done with school as of yesterday. i technically had zero finals. i am now at my grandparents house. my grandma broke her hip recently, but she is coming home tomorrow so then i can move in with her for the summer. i am still looking for a job.. grr.
it was so depressing to move out. i am going to fucking miss urness hall. most people hate it there, but i looooved it. although i am excited about having a living room/kitchen/own bathroom next year.
nothing else for me to update about now. i will post again soon.. if anything happens haha.
byes!
:D
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[19 Mar 2009|02:55pm] |
hey everyone. AJ told me i needed to update more. She also said it should be an interesting update.. but i'm not sure i can handle that request.
Spring Break kind of sucks but not really, since I am not miserable at home. I have to keep stealing internet and it is rather faulty, so i feel rather lonely because i communicate via internet entirely.
tomorrow i am going to Amelia's house to spend the weekend. hopefully we can keep ourselves entertained; very likely, considering the two of us get along famously.
Adam is on his way to chi-city; so erin, if you see a choir tour make sure to look for a guy with brown hair and dolce glasses haha. he went to texas, louisiana.. then up to illinois and then he will be back here! i guess there is a home concert sunday night so i cannot wait to see him.
godammit i really have nothing of interest to write about. sorry aj!
i'm glad ashley posted that video of acoustic poker face, i am in love with it.
i also can't stop listening to the pussycat dolls version of jai ho.
i wish my school didnt kick freshmen out over spring break. i so would have taken advantage of the nice weather and started running again.
i'm losing the internet, gotta go!
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[10 Feb 2009|02:25pm] |
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mood |
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 spacey |
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woo
changed around my journal layout again.
enjoy.
adam told me to do space so he found a space picture and boom space journal.
peace out.
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